“We realize it’s not about what we get out of our marriage but about what we become in our marriage.” Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage A year after we were married, Rob wrote a piece for MarriageTrac about our rocky adjustment to wedded life. He and I were both independent and more than a little stubborn;Continue reading “No One Told Me Marriage Was Like This”
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Me Without You
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams. Pablo Neruda, One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII 19 years ago today, Rob askedContinue reading “Me Without You”
Reflections on a Summer Spent
As the summer closes, I’ve been reflecting on the ways these last three months changed because of the COVID-19 pandemic. This biggest change to our family’s summer plans was the cancellation of a cross-country road trip I’d planned with my children. They wanted to finish the trip Rob’s death cut short last summer. I wantedContinue reading “Reflections on a Summer Spent”
Getting Ready for Fall
“The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.” Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up Today is one of my favorite days of the summer: Getting Ready for Fall Day. I usually mourn the end of the summer, so each year IContinue reading “Getting Ready for Fall”
Poetry Friday: “Making a Fist”
This summer, I had my older three children read Naomi Shihab Nye’s novel Habibi about a girl who moves to Palestine. We had studied the culture and geography of the eastern hemisphere in social studies this past school year, and I’m always looking for literary connections. Rob and I always wanted our children to understandContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “Making a Fist””
Walking My Land, Saying Goodbye
This acreage once housed my dream. When Rob and I bought our property in 2018, we sensed a shifting as our children eased out of homeschooling and into hybrid schooling. For the first time since our early marriage, I would have some time to spare, some extra space to breathe and dream. Rob and IContinue reading “Walking My Land, Saying Goodbye”
The Love That Remains
Today this thought struck me as I rode my bike: Rob is never coming back. A year after his death, you might say, “Duh.” And part of me would heartily agree. Even a cursory look at my everyday life makes it obvious. The dentist no longer calls with Rob’s appointment reminders. Our bank accounts bearContinue reading “The Love That Remains”
The Empty House
Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything. But no, that is not quite accurate. There is one place where her absence comes locally home to me, and it is a place I can’t avoid. I mean my own body. It had such a different importance while it was the body of H.’s lover.Continue reading “The Empty House”
Meeting Rob Moll
Back in my college days, if you were a guy, you had to get past me to get to my sister. I was Rosemary Clooney straight out of White Christmas: “Lord, help the mister who comes between me and my sister!” Whenever my sister had a love interest, I made sure to research him wellContinue reading “Meeting Rob Moll”
Poetry Friday: “All You Who Sleep Tonight”
After seventeen years of marriage, sleeping alone in our bed evokes a deep, intimate loneliness. I miss Rob every time I turn off the light and slip beneath my blankets. Since he died, many nights I just can’t do it. I grab a sleeping bag and pillow and camp out for the night on theContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “All You Who Sleep Tonight””
