On the way to school, my 10-year-old muses, “I don’t want to die when I’m an old man, Mom.” I ask why, and he explains. “If I die when I’m an old man, Dad won’t recognize me when I get to heaven. Other people will say, ‘How could this be your son?’” I grip theContinue reading “We Will Be Known”
Tag Archives: loss
The Open-Handed Life
We give Thee but Thine own,whate’er the gift may be;All that we have is Thine alone,a trust, O Lord, from Thee. William Walsham How, 1858 When we lived in Chicago, Rob and I attended a church that read 1 Chronicles 29:14 each week before the morning offering was received. “For all things come of Thee,Continue reading “The Open-Handed Life”
On Mourning Kobe Bryant
I remember the year Kurt Cobain died. Teenaged friends of mine, accustomed to wearing grungy flannels, donned black in mourning. A girl I knew cried whenever she talked about his death. I thought it was so strange. How could you grieve someone you’d never met? How would their absence actually touch your life? I assumedContinue reading “On Mourning Kobe Bryant”
Brain Work
A couple of months into my grief journey, I realized that Rob’s death on our vacation had disturbed my brain’s spatial memory. We had held Rob’s funeral services in our beloved Washington state and buried him facing the mountains. When we returned to our home in Boston, my conscious brain knew that he wasn’t onContinue reading “Brain Work”
All The Materials
“He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.” Philippians 3:21, NLT “What is cremation?” My seven year old asked me as I tucked her into bed one night. She often wants pillow talk atContinue reading “All The Materials”
Wish You Were Here
We slide into the booth just before closing time. The vinyl bench seat squeaks softly against our legs. A couple of older locals chew the fat with the waitress behind the counter as she wipes down the coffee makers. The glass dessert case stands beside the counter, a colorful assortment of pies all topped inContinue reading “Wish You Were Here”
You Love Me Best
I remember driving through an Ohio cornfield with Rob soon after we’d met back in 2001. An old white farmhouse with a broad front porch rested atop a hill in the distance, its red barn sagging on the lawn behind. “When I’m old, I want a front porch like that,” Rob told me, “with twoContinue reading “You Love Me Best”
Our Steps Are Ordered
I don’t have adequate words to describe what it has been like to lose my husband. It is to find the fabric of my life torn in two. Not just a single moment of being rent asunder by death, it is the daily unraveling of the beautiful life we wove together over 17 years. EachContinue reading “Our Steps Are Ordered”
Homeschooling Through Loss
Our family homeschooled for seven years before Rob died, and we joyfully watched our children grow into intellectually curious students and voracious readers. More than that, our family became its own little tribe, deeply committed to each other. Homeschooling became even more precious the last three years of Rob’s life when he transitioned to workingContinue reading “Homeschooling Through Loss”
May You Find a Light
“Lost and weary traveler searching for the way to go … May you find a light to guide you home.” The Brilliance Of the many times I have felt lost in my life, none has ever been so all-encompassing, deep, and dark as grief. Sometimes I miss Rob so much that I don’t think I’llContinue reading “May You Find a Light”