After seventeen years of marriage, sleeping alone in our bed evokes a deep, intimate loneliness. I miss Rob every time I turn off the light and slip beneath my blankets. Since he died, many nights I just can’t do it. I grab a sleeping bag and pillow and camp out for the night on theContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “All You Who Sleep Tonight””
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The Nicest Gift You Could Give
The year after our first daughter was born, Rob gave me a Kitchen-Aid standing mixer for Mother’s Day. In secret, he headed down to our local Williams-Sonoma store and picked it out. We’d only been married for three years. He didn’t yet realize how much I hate to cook. In those years, we were prettyContinue reading “The Nicest Gift You Could Give”
Nothing To Say
As we drove through the national park, my husband Rob glanced away from the road toward the shores of Yellowstone Lake. A retired couple sat in two camping chairs a few feet from the water’s edge. No books rested in their laps, no fishing rods in their hands. They simply sat, enjoying the silence, surroundedContinue reading “Nothing To Say”
What’s in a Name?
Recently, I gave a presentation at my children’s school. Many students know that my two children who attend there lost their father last summer. They are aware that our family doesn’t look like theirs. It is always a relief to enter a group of people with whom I don’t need to explain the complexities ofContinue reading “What’s in a Name?”
What Doesn’t Kill You
In August 2001, three months after Rob and I met, we were mugged at gunpoint in an apartment complex parking lot in Dallas. We’d driven in that evening, the last leg of our trip moving me from New Hampshire to graduate school in Texas. Before we met my new roommates, Rob and I ran downContinue reading “What Doesn’t Kill You”
On St. Patrick’s Day
The first year Rob and I were married, his Irish relative flew across the pond to visit. She had connections in the States and arrived in Illinois just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. A gregarious woman, she determined that Rob and I needed a taste of a real Irish celebration, so we bundled intoContinue reading “On St. Patrick’s Day”
My BFF Won’t BRB
My daughter hops into the car after school bubbling over with the day’s news. In our short drive home, she gives me the social update for her classroom. Graham pushed Billy on the playground. Sam passed Katie a note during math. Sarah and Emma aren’t speaking to each other because Emma said Lucy is herContinue reading “My BFF Won’t BRB”
Finishing
During the early part of our quarantine, I decided to revisit my “finishers list” in order to use these next weeks in a fruitful way. I’m great at starting projects. However, many times I need to set them down for more pressing matters or I get distracted or lose enthusiasm part way through. When IContinue reading “Finishing”
Love’s Last Words
When I was young, a woman I knew died unexpectedly in her sleep. She went to bed seemingly healthy and never woke up in the morning. For all of the years after, her death haunted me with its terrifying possibility. It was entirely plausible that I too could die without warning, that I could snuggleContinue reading “Love’s Last Words”
“A channel in my self-bound soul”
Today, on Maundy Thursday, the church remembers the last supper Jesus shared with his disciples before his death, the meal at which he washed his friends’ feet. Maundy Thursday is one of the final stops on our journey through Holy Week. There’s a feeling of inevitability that hangs over this day. Everybody knows this momentContinue reading ““A channel in my self-bound soul””
