Valentine’s Day was never a special holiday in our marriage. Instead, it was the day after that held all the magic. The day the Whitman’s Sampler dropped to 50% off at the Walgreens down the street. That day, Rob ran out and grabbed me the biggest box of chocolates he could get under our self-imposedContinue reading “The Day After Valentine’s”
Category Archives: Marriage
A Last Gift of Love
When Rob and I became engaged, we traveled from Illinois to our old college town in Ohio for makeshift premarital counseling. Mostly, Rob wanted to hang out with his old English professor, and I wanted to visit my sisters who were in school at the time. Over dinner with the professor and his wife, theContinue reading “A Last Gift of Love”
Adventures in Cooking
We’d recently returned from our honeymoon when Rob invited friends over for dinner. We lived in a little garage apartment in rural Ohio, and I was excited to break out our wedding gifts and use our new kitchen. Through graduate school, I’d eaten like a pauper, subsisting mostly on white rice with a melted slabContinue reading “Adventures in Cooking”
The Open-Handed Life
We give Thee but Thine own,whate’er the gift may be;All that we have is Thine alone,a trust, O Lord, from Thee. William Walsham How, 1858 When we lived in Chicago, Rob and I attended a church that read 1 Chronicles 29:14 each week before the morning offering was received. “For all things come of Thee,Continue reading “The Open-Handed Life”
A Single Sentence
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” William Shakespeare, Macbeth When the chaplains arrived, I told them I needed them to wait until I had someone to hold my hands. I told them I could not hear their words until I wasn’t alone.Continue reading “A Single Sentence”
His Hand in Mine
Rob often lamented that his hands were too small to palm a basketball. He’d played basketball throughout high school, and he claimed his hands were his greatest handicap. With bigger hands, he said, he could have been really great. I’d smile as Rob retold the stories of his glory days — buzzer beaters and alley-oops.Continue reading “His Hand in Mine”
Brain Work
A couple of months into my grief journey, I realized that Rob’s death on our vacation had disturbed my brain’s spatial memory. We had held Rob’s funeral services in our beloved Washington state and buried him facing the mountains. When we returned to our home in Boston, my conscious brain knew that he wasn’t onContinue reading “Brain Work”
All Eyes on Me
Not long after Rob died, I ventured out to a social gathering, my first foray into the world post-loss, beyond the comfortably anonymous grocery store and post office. After a brief pep talk in the car, I smoothed my sweater, smiled in the rear view mirror and climbed out of the car. “Straighten your shoulders,Continue reading “All Eyes on Me”
“Not Gray … Hoary.”
I stand before the linen closet in the bathroom, a trash can beside me. I’m told that it’s helpful to tackle one space at a time, so I’ve decided to go through Rob’s toiletries. There’s not much really. The elastics from his despised Invisalign treatment. Trash. The half-used Chapstick. Trash. The dental floss. Might asContinue reading ““Not Gray … Hoary.””
Time to Start Growing
When we met, I wore my hair like 90s Winona Ryder. A pixie cut, dyed dark. My high school math teacher had told me years before that “men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses,” and his adage had proven true for short hairstyles as well. I hadn’t dated at all in high schoolContinue reading “Time to Start Growing”
