On the way to school, my 10-year-old muses, “I don’t want to die when I’m an old man, Mom.” I ask why, and he explains. “If I die when I’m an old man, Dad won’t recognize me when I get to heaven. Other people will say, ‘How could this be your son?’” I grip theContinue reading “We Will Be Known”
Category Archives: Everyday
Grief and Fire Management
A few summers ago, lightning sparked a wildfire on a hill overlooking our lake vacation spot in Washington. Our family watched from the hotel balcony as wildfire drama played out before our eyes. Black smoke billowed, and firefighters worked hard to control the growing blaze. A large plane dropped plumes of orange fire retardant. SmallerContinue reading “Grief and Fire Management”
Looking Ahead
School officially started this week, and all of the looking ahead has got me thinking lately about my kids growing up and my home emptying out in the years ahead. I can’t help thinking about it when I stack the high school textbooks and pull out the graphing calculators and lab books. My children haveContinue reading “Looking Ahead”
Getting Ready for Fall
“The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.” Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up Today is one of my favorite days of the summer: Getting Ready for Fall Day. I usually mourn the end of the summer, so each year IContinue reading “Getting Ready for Fall”
The Sea of Sorrow
I go to the ocean to sit with my grief. Dead things are everywhere here. The landscape feels familiar. Empty shells, bits of cast off crabs, seaweed dried crisp by the radiating heat of sun on sand. Waves roll in, pushing the ribbon of detritus up the beach, adding more death with every breaker. TheContinue reading “The Sea of Sorrow”
He Would Want You to Live
Let sorrow do its work. Elizabeth Prentiss, “More Love to Thee” Since Rob died, a number of people have told me, “He would want you to keep living.” I always appreciate that encouragement. It gets at the heart of what loss can do in your life, if you allow it. Honestly, after a year ofContinue reading “He Would Want You to Live”
Walking My Land, Saying Goodbye
This acreage once housed my dream. When Rob and I bought our property in 2018, we sensed a shifting as our children eased out of homeschooling and into hybrid schooling. For the first time since our early marriage, I would have some time to spare, some extra space to breathe and dream. Rob and IContinue reading “Walking My Land, Saying Goodbye”
The Right Way to Grieve
Six months after Rob died, a global pandemic began. What a crazy year in which to grieve. While COVID-19 has complicated our grief process in myriad ways, foremost, the pandemic forced me to reevaluate the wisdom of cross-country travel this summer for the anniversary of Rob’s death. I wrestled for months about giving up thatContinue reading “The Right Way to Grieve”
It’s Alright to Cry
Since having kids, I’ve become a real crier. Perhaps motherhood’s hormones tipped the scales. Maybe I’ve just developed more empathy as I’ve aged. Whatever the cause, the result has been lots of tears in our house. Happy, sad, angry, wistful, frustrated. All the tears. They’re all welcome. As a regular crier, I’ve always disliked theContinue reading “It’s Alright to Cry”
Lessons in Bunny Trust
One evening this spring, my youngest looked out the window during family read aloud time and whispered, “Mom, a bunny!” Sure enough, on the edge of the thicket that lines our property, a baby bunny crouched. A little ball of fur so tiny it looked as though you could cup it in a single hand.Continue reading “Lessons in Bunny Trust”
