As I walked through the cemetery one day, I noticed this little stone not far from where Rob is laid to rest. The writing is faded, the features of the little lamb now worn with time and weather. I am drawn to this lamb and to the precious one who rests beneath its stone. IContinue reading “The Little Lamb”
Category Archives: Church
Finding Rest
Today, we mark seven months since Rob died. It is not lost on me that seven is the biblical number of completion — the year of Jubilee, the day God rested from His creative work. Seven means rest. I’ll be honest — I’ve never been a huge fan of rest. I’ve always been more interestedContinue reading “Finding Rest”
The Open-Handed Life
We give Thee but Thine own,whate’er the gift may be;All that we have is Thine alone,a trust, O Lord, from Thee. William Walsham How, 1858 When we lived in Chicago, Rob and I attended a church that read 1 Chronicles 29:14 each week before the morning offering was received. “For all things come of Thee,Continue reading “The Open-Handed Life”
Mercy for the Broken
I want to tell you what it feels like to hold a child as he mourns. I want you to know how it feels as his body, wracked with sobs, sinks deep against your own. You hold his tender frame, cradling him in your arms like when you soothed him as a baby. The maternalContinue reading “Mercy for the Broken”
Saying the D-Word
Our smell announced our arrival before we’d hit the threshold. Teenage boys tumbled out of the locker room, doused in cologne to mask their gym class body odor. None of them had showered. Girls walked down the hall in groups, a cloud of floral shampoo fragrance surrounding them. “Women don’t sweat. They glow,” remarked theContinue reading “Saying the D-Word”
The Son Will Rise
I’ll never forget the Easter we stumbled into a church in Capitol Hill in Seattle. We jammed our family into a pew and heaved a sigh. Our hearts were carrying so much that was heavy. Family complexities. Health concerns. Life questions. We needed some hope. We sat, exhausted. Then, a single cellist broke the silence,Continue reading “The Son Will Rise”
“Mystic Sweet Communion”
Rob and I grew up in church traditions that loved hymn singing, and we gravitated toward churches like that as a married couple. On Sunday mornings now, when I’m missing Rob’s arm around me in the pew, the hymns remind me that he’s near. “Yet she on earth hath union with the God the ThreeContinue reading ““Mystic Sweet Communion””
May You Find a Light
“Lost and weary traveler searching for the way to go … May you find a light to guide you home.” The Brilliance Of the many times I have felt lost in my life, none has ever been so all-encompassing, deep, and dark as grief. Sometimes I miss Rob so much that I don’t think I’llContinue reading “May You Find a Light”
Being Beloved
Rob and I talked often about our mutual instinct toward performance and our mutual struggle to lay our striving down and accept grace. We both longed to know the love of God and rest in Him. For most of my life, I believed my worth was based on my performance, my intelligence and skills, myContinue reading “Being Beloved”
We Will Be Known
On the way to school, my 10-year-old muses, “I don’t want to die when I’m an old man, Mom.” I ask why, and he explains. “If I die when I’m an old man, Dad won’t recognize me when I get to heaven. Other people will say, ‘How could this be your son?’” I grip theContinue reading “We Will Be Known”
