On our 2017 road trip, Rob and I took our children to the Brown vs. Board of Education National Historic Site in Topeka, Kansas. Grass on the front lawn had already browned to a crisp that July day, and the Monroe Elementary School building offered a welcome respite from the hot sun outside. Our familyContinue reading “Hot, Angry Tears”
Author Archives: Clarissa Moll
The Ten Year Plan House
All of my life, I’ve been a long-range planner. I’ve loved thinking about broad swaths of time. My childhood journals charted out which boy I’d marry, the names of my children, even floor plan drawings of my dream house. When I met Rob, he and I jumped excitedly into planning together. Time seemed infinite, andContinue reading “The Ten Year Plan House”
Poetry Friday: “The Gift to Sing”
In 2018, after our cross-country move, I started a Spotify playlist I called “Life Songs.” I was deeply grieving the loss of my home and community, and I needed music that pointed me to hope. Over the last two years, I’ve added to that playlist until it’s almost eight hours long. A full work day’sContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “The Gift to Sing””
45 Days to Go: A Lament
It’s June 4, 2020. Just 45 days until it has been a year since you died. I can’t believe I’ve lived so long without you. And yet, that is what my life will always be now — lived without you. The thought tears me wide open. I miss you like it was yesterday. I knowContinue reading “45 Days to Go: A Lament”
Poetry Friday: “God’s Grief”
With everything happening in the world right now, I’ve been thinking of these words of Genesis 6: The Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and he was deeply grieved. The first time grief is ever mentioned in the Bible, God is the one who is doing it. Only six chapters intoContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “God’s Grief””
Mountain Care
Today the church remembers the servanthood of Bernard of Menthon. While he is best remembered for the dogs who bear his name, Saint Bernard is honored as the patron saint of hikers and mountaineers. Born in the early middle ages to a wealthy Italian family, Bernard left his life of leisure to serve travelers onContinue reading “Mountain Care”
Poetry Friday: “The Thing Is”
After a tough week, these are the words I have needed. Encouragement to pursue love and life, even as I think, “How can a body withstand this?” I love the way that Ellen Bass describes receiving life in the midst of grief. No flushed cheeks or starry eyes. That kind of love is from aContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “The Thing Is””
Meeting Rob Moll
Back in my college days, if you were a guy, you had to get past me to get to my sister. I was Rosemary Clooney straight out of White Christmas: “Lord, help the mister who comes between me and my sister!” Whenever my sister had a love interest, I made sure to research him wellContinue reading “Meeting Rob Moll”
Poetry Friday: “All You Who Sleep Tonight”
After seventeen years of marriage, sleeping alone in our bed evokes a deep, intimate loneliness. I miss Rob every time I turn off the light and slip beneath my blankets. Since he died, many nights I just can’t do it. I grab a sleeping bag and pillow and camp out for the night on theContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “All You Who Sleep Tonight””
When Despair Speaks
Many people who mourn don’t feel they can admit the darker parts of grief. The days they don’t get out of bed. The feelings of anger or hopelessness or desperation. Oftentimes, when a grieving person tries to share these darker places, his or her feelings are diminished or silenced by others. “There’s always hope,” we’reContinue reading “When Despair Speaks”