Walking My Land, Saying Goodbye

This acreage once housed my dream. When Rob and I bought our property in 2018, we sensed a shifting as our children eased out of homeschooling and into hybrid schooling. For the first time since our early marriage, I would have some time to spare, some extra space to breathe and dream. Rob and IContinue reading “Walking My Land, Saying Goodbye”

Falling Asleep

When our first child was born, Rob and I quickly realized the all-consuming nature of baby bedtime routines. After the evening feeding, Rob swaddled our little girl snuggly, hoisted her high onto his shoulder and slow danced her through the kitchen to the melodies of old church songs and Crosby Stills and Nash. As sheContinue reading “Falling Asleep”

The Right Way to Grieve

Six months after Rob died, a global pandemic began. What a crazy year in which to grieve. While COVID-19 has complicated our grief process in myriad ways, foremost, the pandemic forced me to reevaluate the wisdom of cross-country travel this summer for the anniversary of Rob’s death. I wrestled for months about giving up thatContinue reading “The Right Way to Grieve”

It’s Alright to Cry

Since having kids, I’ve become a real crier. Perhaps motherhood’s hormones tipped the scales. Maybe I’ve just developed more empathy as I’ve aged. Whatever the cause, the result has been lots of tears in our house. Happy, sad, angry, wistful, frustrated. All the tears. They’re all welcome. As a regular crier, I’ve always disliked theContinue reading “It’s Alright to Cry”

Poetry Friday: “Farewell”

Recently, my kids and I enjoyed a getaway respite at my sister’s home down on the farm. Moving in the midst of grief and pandemic is challenging, and we all needed a break. My sister’s acreage abuts farmland that is under conservation, preserved for generations to come just as it’s been farmed by generations before.Continue reading “Poetry Friday: “Farewell””

No One Told Me Marriage Was Like This

“We realize it’s not about what we get out of our marriage but about what we become in our marriage.” Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage A year after we were married, Rob wrote a piece for MarriageTrac about our rocky adjustment to wedded life. He and I were both independent and more than a little stubborn;Continue reading “No One Told Me Marriage Was Like This”

Poetry Friday: “Club Sorrow”

Grief can be such an isolating experience. I talk to so many people who feel ostracized from their social networks after the death of a loved one. It is challenging to navigate relationships with a heavy burden of sorrow, and many bereaved people feel abandoned by those they considered close friends. They find that theirContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “Club Sorrow””

The Love That Remains

Today this thought struck me as I rode my bike: Rob is never coming back. A year after his death, you might say, “Duh.” And part of me would heartily agree. Even a cursory look at my everyday life makes it obvious. The dentist no longer calls with Rob’s appointment reminders. Our bank accounts bearContinue reading “The Love That Remains”

Poetry Friday: “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”

“Death is real; there is no need to say that because our loved one is in heaven, death doesn’t exist.” Rob Moll, The Art Of Dying: Living Fully Into The Life To Come Today’s Poetry Friday poem was penned in 1932 as the United States shifted away from its Victorian-era fascination with death toward a death-phobicContinue reading “Poetry Friday: “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep””

Investing That Made Our Family Rejoice

In 2017, Rob accepted a position with Eventide Asset Management, a values based investing company in Boston, Massachusetts. Rob had profiled Eventide in 2014 while on the faith and business beat for Christianity Today, and Eventide’s philosophy of “investing that makes the world rejoice” captured his attention. In every work environment, in our home andContinue reading “Investing That Made Our Family Rejoice”