On Mourning Kobe Bryant

I remember the year Kurt Cobain died. Teenaged friends of mine, accustomed to wearing grungy flannels, donned black in mourning. A girl I knew cried whenever she talked about his death. I thought it was so strange. How could you grieve someone you’d never met? How would their absence actually touch your life? I assumedContinue reading “On Mourning Kobe Bryant”

Forest Friends

When we visited Washington recently, I drove us back through our old neighborhood, down our old street. The Leyland Cypress trees we planted eight years ago this spring are flourishing. They tower over the backyard now, spreading their lacy arms over the fence. Rob loved those trees. Born and bred in the manicured Midwest, RobContinue reading “Forest Friends”

Coffee’s Bitter Memory

Every Wednesday morning, I wake up with the same thought: We’re halfway to the weekend! I know I’m not alone in this sentiment; everybody’s working for the weekend. I feel this even more so now that Rob is gone. On Saturday mornings, I used to wake up to 90s grunge and the smell of coffeeContinue reading “Coffee’s Bitter Memory”

From Death, Life

“Did you know babies have webbed hands in the womb?” my daughter asks me on the ride home from school. She’s taking Honors Biology this year and has become a DNA and genetics junkie. “How come they’re not born with their hands that way?” I ask, happy for a new topic to draw conversation outContinue reading “From Death, Life”

All The Materials

“He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.” Philippians 3:21, NLT “What is cremation?” My seven year old asked me as I tucked her into bed one night. She often wants pillow talk atContinue reading “All The Materials”

Marking the Way

From the dusty parking lot the trail begins over open slickrock. In the distance, the La Sal mountains paint a deep navy blue against the umber terrain. They rise up far in the distance, still snowcapped even in late June. A reminder that somewhere in this dry landscape water exists in abundance. It’s a steadyContinue reading “Marking the Way”

Wish You Were Here

We slide into the booth just before closing time. The vinyl bench seat squeaks softly against our legs. A couple of older locals chew the fat with the waitress behind the counter as she wipes down the coffee makers. The glass dessert case stands beside the counter, a colorful assortment of pies all topped inContinue reading “Wish You Were Here”

Saying the D-Word

Our smell announced our arrival before we’d hit the threshold. Teenage boys tumbled out of the locker room, doused in cologne to mask their gym class body odor. None of them had showered. Girls walked down the hall in groups, a cloud of floral shampoo fragrance surrounding them. “Women don’t sweat. They glow,” remarked theContinue reading “Saying the D-Word”

All Eyes on Me

Not long after Rob died, I ventured out to a social gathering, my first foray into the world post-loss, beyond the comfortably anonymous grocery store and post office. After a brief pep talk in the car, I smoothed my sweater, smiled in the rear view mirror and climbed out of the car. “Straighten your shoulders,Continue reading “All Eyes on Me”